I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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