I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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