It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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