I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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