what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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