Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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