he wants to bone in the snuggie
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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