Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
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You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
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If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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