I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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