it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
