if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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