so that wasnt chicken after all
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
