At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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