he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
