I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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