Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
