Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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