Can i not drive my cunt home
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
