So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
do herpes really smell.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize