You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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