Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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