Just cropdusted the office
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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