i just google imaged poop.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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