I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
