I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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