Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
