I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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