dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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