I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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