He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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