I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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