Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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