There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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