As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
