So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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