Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
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I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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