addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
