kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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