sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
