Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
