rhymes with "ouble enetration"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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