I wish I only lived at night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
