listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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