We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
someone owes me an orgasm
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
