I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
