I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wear drunk well.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
