it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
