People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
