Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
