i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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