508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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