I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
