I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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