is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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