my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
